HAHA

2011-09-04T02:35:00.001+08:00

having a bad headache since this afternoon .
maybe because of thinking too much .
i just can't think straight now .
i'm so tired .. just so tired of everything .
mentally and physically ..
questions of ' why ' and ' what ifs ' are battling in my mind .
i feel so helpless to be talking to a blog post .
i don't dare to confine anything into anyone anymore ..
i'm afraid that they might be just like you ; thinking that i'm just an emotional wreck and then just walk away from me ..
but i know that no matter what , i'll have to be strong ..
because people out there prey on your weakness/flaws/sadness and rub into it .

why are others insults towards you still hurts me so much ?
i guess i overestimated myself , i still can't let you go .

i wonder .
i really wonder .
why was this world created ?

2011-08-15T01:43:00.003+08:00

those words always haunt me at night .

2011-08-14T18:36:00.002+08:00

you'd never know how much i miss you .

2011-08-07T17:29:00.002+08:00

i guess , all of these are just part of growing up .
all the pain and sufferings are just there to make us stronger .
'what doesn't kill us , makes us stronger '.
i must admit , these few weeks/months are the hardest days of my life .
but well , i have endured through it .
it's not easy but it's a must .
if we don't get back up once we fall , we will never move on .

i'm grateful for the memories you gave me :)
and i hope that you will be too :)
what's left for me to do now is to study hard for N's and score well for it .
and leave the rest after N's .

希望你会好好过日子无论多艰难。。。
我好担心你啊！
微笑吧！
笑一笑，心情自然好！

2011-08-05T22:00:00.002+08:00

i'm done with N'Level Art Coursework !
i'm done with my promise .
i held on to it till the very end .
what's left to do now is to study hard for N's .

though , i had deleted all the messages .
i still remember everything clearly ,
as though it only happened yesterday .
but , there's no point thinking bout it too anyway .

those words , Mr Ho told me ,
are still lingering in my head .
well , he told me to study hard for N's .
i will , don't worry .
i still got tons of promises to fulfil .

10 for N's , possible ?

i'm confident that my maths will pass this time round ,
as i studied hard for it .
as well as my social studies but i think i kinda screwed up
my source-based questions .

don't you dare me .
i will prove you all wrong .

promises .

2011-08-03T22:19:00.003+08:00

i feel that there's seriously a problem with me ..
i don't know , i just feel that i'm getting weaker and weaker as days goes by .

today's incident makes me more worried about my health .
my white blood cells are more than my red blood cells .
and if i got a fever again , i will have to be hospitalized .
which i'm having a mild one now .

maybe like CKY said it's my karma .
both of our fates are similar ..
but at least , let me enjoy my life again
if something bad is going to happen ..
i really hope it's just something not serious .
but my fever have been on and off for one week already ..
i got lots of medication to take somemore ..

you know what , i just don't feel appreciated at all .
maybe my existence is worth nothing to most of you all .
maybe if something was to happen to me , i will be glad .
at least , i won't have to suffer all of these things on earth .

maybe after i'm gone , i would get to see who really cared about me .

cherish what you have before it's too late .
before everything is long gone .

2011-08-01T21:43:00.002+08:00

have you ever got the feeling that nothing ever goes right in your life ?
when everything you do , doesn't makes you happy at all .
always locking yourself in the room and breaking down secretly ,
so that no one know ?
faking a smile so that no one will know that you're hurt ?

i'm so tired of all these , mentally and physically .
i want my life to be as usual ..
i don't want this type of life ...
if god is willing to exchange the past with my current state ,
i would gladly exchanged .

i keep on falling sick .
i keep on thinking too much .
i can't even think straight .
i can't even concentrate at stuffs .
i get irritated and agitated easily ..

just take this life away from me can ?
i beg you . just take it ..
i don't want to live anymore ..
这个世界太残忍了。。。

受不了。。。

2011-08-01T16:44:00.002+08:00

you guys said that i've changed .
yes .
i may have changed but i'm still me .
i really don't want to get hurt by anyone anymore .
i really can't take all this pressure ..
i'm so sick of feeling so helpless at times ..

i don't exactly know who to trust anymore .
i'm afraid that they might just lie to me again ,
or make use of me ...

i just hope you're alright ..
really hope you will be fine soon ..

2011-07-31T23:51:00.002+08:00

我习惯就好吧。。。
我自己默默承受着一切就好了。。。
这是我闯的祸，我不需要你们的帮忙，我不想连累你们。。

为什么爱是那么的残酷。。
不知不觉，我们一夜就变了陌生人了。。。

我真的真的不想这样。。
但是，决定并不在我的手中。。
我好累了。。
担心你。。
有什么用呢？你也不领情。。

我对人真的太好了。。
太好到被利用，被骗也不知道。。

人真的不会珍惜他们拥有的东西，等到失去了才后悔。。。
有用吗？

是时间我习惯没有你的日子了。。。
伤都伤了，
哭都哭了，
为你烦恼也烦过了。。

为什么要为了一个不珍惜我的人，哭和烦恼呢？

爱你也没用了。
因为你不会接受我的爱。。

关心你也没用了。
因为你不会感受到我的关心。。

陪伴你也没有用了。。
因为我已经不可以领你微笑和开心了。。

我只能珍惜那四个月的美好回忆。。。

我希望你会把我收藏在你心中，
因为我会永远留在你心中的。。。

2011-07-31T21:33:00.002+08:00

well ..
it doesn't take one to judge all ; stereotypes .
i'm not one .

i still see hope in people .
it really pains me for those who i respect and regard deeply ,
to lie , backstab or insult me .

it's true that i may be weak-willed .
it's true that i can be real emotional at times .
but at least , i don't hold grudges and i forgive .
i always believe that holding grudges is stupid .
in the long run , the only person you are hurting is yourself .
unless the person is really @#$%^& ..

please don't let me lose hope in anyone .
i really hate to be lied to .

2011-07-31T05:03:00.002+08:00

我觉得我很笨。。。
自己被爱蒙住了眼睛，也不懂。。。
一次又一次被你玩得团团转。。。。
我真的有那么容易骗吗？
我也是人，我也有感情的。。。。
你知不知道我爱你，爱到很累了。。。
我快要受不了了。。

伤心和难过是难免的。
但是，你到底要我真么办你才会开心？
我已经付出一个很大的代价了。。。
我是真的在关心你的。。。

爱是要体谅和原谅的。

lies . bunch of liars .
untrustable .
the world is bullshit .

2011-07-30T00:38:00.003+08:00

no matter what , you and i are going to be okays .
i just want you to know this :)

lots of stuffs happened these few days .
i just want to thanks those who are always there for me .
no matter of rain or shine .
i know i'm kind of unstable for these few days .
please bear with me . i will be alright soon .

i'm deeply sorry for those who i scared the crap out of them .
i didn't know i will react like this .
i promised that that will be the last time , i will be like that .
please don't feel bad or anything .
i wouldn't want any of you to feel bad because of what i did .
once again , sorry .

just yesterday , i contracted viral infection .
just by without taking the medications for today .
already made me feel so damn uncomfortable and pain .
i hope i won't forget to bring it out with me tommorow .
i don't want to spoil anybody mood because of mine problems .
that's me . others before myself .
i feel that it's selfish to make other unhappy because of your own problems .
we should be more sensitive to other's feelings and not only care and whine about problems .
that's what i realized in these few days .

keywords to take note of in the future .

approach everything with an open mind .
live for the present .
don't assume .
never ever expect .
be sensitive towards other's feelings .
never ever do stupid stuffs anymore .

things may turn out like this but i want you to know ,
i did what i can to salvage it .
so i'm not going to regret any of this because i already know ,
i tried my very best .

2011-07-26T20:45:00.003+08:00

it's true that pain is inevitable .
but to succumb to that pain or not ,
it's ultimately our choice .

i feel that blogging is already essential to me .
it's the only place where i could fully express what i have to say .
it's also a good stress-reliever .
i always feel better after i blog .

school been pretty fine lately .
have to go school myself for this week as
my mum went back to thailand .

History lesson was okay for me ,
quite productive .
completed two source based question given by Mr Lee .
i will bear all the common mistakes and tips in mind :)

Art , two hours today .
paint , paint and paint .
can say , it was quite productive too .
was listening to songs throughout .

Recess , Chit-Chat Session !
Chinese , was pretty dry .
Having Oral tommorow !

Maths , i don't know why i feel so tired today .
nothing really went into my mind today .
i keep dozing off ..
hmmm... i'll make sure , this won't happen again *promise*

After School , Ate Lunch with Windy Chua & Pei Jun .
Chat till 3plus then i went for art .
i really don't know what to say to you guys .
just one word ' thanks ' .

went to Art , same routine , PAINT PAINT PAINT and listen to songs .

my life is kinda boring , hahahahas ! :x

just let me go through this pain myself .
no matter how bad it gets .
if it didn't kill me , it's alright .

i will not dwell on the past anymore .
i will let time speaks for itself .
what's meant to be will always find it's way back .
who know what will happen in the future ?

2011-07-25T20:19:00.004+08:00

there aren't always second chances right ?

didn't go school today .
because wasn't feeling too well in the morning .
after sleeping + medications .
i felt better .

afternoon .
zhijie told me go gym .
was hesitating at first ,
but since so long never go already ,
so i took up his offer .
had fun and epic time there with them .

' just because i'm always there for you doesn't mean you can take me for granted . '

i hope there will come a time where we could face each other again .

2011-07-24T19:51:00.004+08:00

love like this is definitely hard to forget .
those sweet memories and happy moments .

for these one month ,
i've been through alot , emotionally and mentally .
at first , i just wanted you to be happy .
i didn't really even care about my happiness .
this made me realized that people around me cared about me .
teachers & friends start to notice my weird behaviour in class .
they counselled me .
i realize that even if you didn't care about me ,
there are still many others that could care for me .
there are still others who can make me happy even if you hurting me .
there are still others who are treating me right even if you didn't .
ULTIMATELY , there're still many others who love the way i'm and would stand by me .

but there's something those people can't give me .
they can't give me those stupid conversations we had .
they can't give me those warm hugs .
they can't give me those memories .
they can't give me those heart-breaks .
they can't give me your way of love .
last but not least , they aren't you .
you're special in my eyes .
' beauty is in the eyes of the beholder ' .

it's true that you are important and special to me .
but that doesn't matter anymore .
i must admit my love and feeling are still the same for you .
but i can't seems to make you happy anymore ..
well , if you still remember that i told you this before during our tryout period .
' if you are unhappy , please tell me . i want you to be happy with me . i would rather you be happy without me then unhappy with me ' .

since i can't make you happy anymore ..
there's no point trying to salvage anything .
i guess this is good bye?

i miss you .

2011-07-22T22:37:00.002+08:00

even though , it's tiring for me to keep on fighting for you .
but , i will never give up untill giving up is the only option left for me .

remember 5 months ago , this time .
what were we doing ?
well . what's past has past .
no point talking about it .

school was fine today .
english prelim today .
the papers was so-called easy for me .

after prelims , had art till 9pm .
almost done .
i was feeling unwell for the whole day .
throat blockage and nose block .
uncomfortablemax , hope i will get well soon .
there's school tommorow , tiredmax .
have to wake up at 6:00am tommorow ..

breaking up isn't the end .
as long as i'm still loving you ,
there will be no end .

2011-07-21T22:07:00.002+08:00

you will not stand alone .

today is racial harmony day !
we all wore traditional clothes to school today !
what i want to say is that ;
our class is so far the most united class i ever had !
i don't feel like graduating , i wish this moment froze right here !

tommorow's the start of our prelims !
got to work hard already !
short post for today ! :)

i miss you .

2011-07-20T20:52:00.003+08:00

maybe , i should really had listen .
i simply don't understand everything now .
but at least , one thing is clear to me is that my feelings for you ,
are exactly the same as before .

school's pretty fine too .
sometimes , i wish that i was not so fearless .
i need someone to push me harder .
i just feel that i'm not trying hard enough .
i study but when it comes to mock exam .
i just don't know how to apply those formulas ..
i feel so depressed .
how ah how ah ? * MR GOH TUNE*

不明白。。。

2011-07-19T21:29:00.003+08:00

i will always remember all the days we had together ,
every little , smallest details of the memory , we once had .

school was pretty fine as usual .
first lesson , was english !
Ms Serene Ng came ! ohmygod ! ><
she seems sleepy , she dozed off in class :O

art was sucky , got nagged and scolded .
was told to stay back after school too ..
totally ruin my day .

recess , chit chat session .
after that was chemistry lesson .
huimin got chased out of the class just because she talk to me ,
kuazhangmax :/

maths is always the bestbestbest lesson !
enjoyed miss chia lesson .
copy down all the common mistakes for the mock exam paper ,
as well as do corrections for mock exam paper .

school ended .
stayed back for art till 5:30pm .
still didn't complete art coursework , got nagged again .
she give us till friday . ;/

homed , bathed .
revised for maths mock paper 2 tommorow .

you make my day :)

2011-07-18T21:09:00.002+08:00

memories are always worth reminiscing ...

school's pretty fine as usual .
just feel that i got to work harder .
my maths still cannot make it .
how am i going to my desired course if my maths is still like this .
well , no point complaining and whining .
just got to work harder , that's all ! :)

2011-07-16T20:26:00.002+08:00

went back to school today !
was supposed to gym before NDP rehearsal ,
but Zhijie say , his hand pain so cancelled it off ..

Singing Session for the whole day ,
tutored the malays for the Chinese Version of home .
they are fast learners !
but without good teacher , there won't be good students *self-praise*

after the rehearsal , went to burger king and eat ,
helped with song choreography .

Looking Forward to the next rehearsal ! :)

' people usually blame their sadness on others but , the one to blame is themselves . they are the one who limits their happiness . '

2011-07-15T22:26:00.002+08:00

forgetting is hard ;
but , remembering is worst .

school was pretty fine today .
Art was pretty productive today !
as for maths , we had our mock exam today ,
i wished that i had studied harder for it .
one word , fail .

i got to push myself already !
saw the requirements to go higher nitec already .
time to work hard , Sherman !
jiayous jiayous ! :)

had Art ASP / Night Study till 9pm today .
almost done with my coursework ! :)
Mdm Maslinah said if all of us managed to complete our coursework by tuesday ,
she treat whole class for Harry Potter . *anticipating*

trust me , i know how it feels .
i know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower ,
so no one can hear you ,
and waiting for everybody
to fall asleep so you can fall apart ,
for everything to hurt you so bad ,
you just want it all to end .
i know exactly how it feels ...

2011-07-14T22:03:00.002+08:00

i miss you but that doesn't matter anymore .

school was alright today except for the freaky pms diseases that's been going on , lately .
other than that , school was really fine .

Miss Chia showed us how much time we are left till our prelims and N'levels .
no joke , time is really running out .
got to manage every ounces of time , carefully .

used up 4 full pages of foolscap for algebra already !
up till now , there're minimum problems .
i feel so contented , happyhappy ! :)

i guess , it's time to move on ;
and live our lives separately .
though , i still miss you ;
but , i don't think that matter anymore .
although now , we're like strangers .
i will never forget the love we once shared .
the memories we forged together .
all of these will be forever etched in my heart .
you , this stranger now , once meant so much to me ..

be happy , will ya ? ♥

2011-07-13T21:02:00.003+08:00

what's in the past , just leave it behind .
it's not good to rake up the past .
it's definitely a good place to look into ;
but not a good place to stay .

school have been really awesome lately .
i meant " awesome " .
mock exams everyday !
feeling the pressure now .
but , without a little pressure , life won't be interesting at all !

it's been so long since i felt like this .
Relieved is the only suitable word , i can find .
decided to put in my 101% into my studies .
study hard for N Levels is my first priority now .
i shall put everything else aside for me .
shall not let trivial , i mean TRIVIAL stuffs hinder my progress now .

being happy is our own responsibility .
we should not blame others for our unhappiness ,
as our happiness is based on our outlook on life .
sad no more , emo no more . what matters now ,
is to be happy and 坚强地活下去 ..
it's hard but i know i can make it through .

thanks for the memories .

' as each day pass by , i'm slowly letting go , bit by bit . '

though it still hurts everytime i remember .
but i will always remember that you at some point of time ,
meant the most to me .

2011-07-12T21:16:00.002+08:00

i always have a reason for what i'm doing , maybe you don't know but
i'm sure one day , you will understand the reason why ...

it's been twenty days ;
i still can't forget you but i know all of this are for our own good .
just want to tell you this , no matter how hard things get in your life ,
i will always be there standing by you , whether it's silently or not .
i will always be a text , a call , a tweet away . just for you ...
i feel that we really need to make use of this period of time ,
to pick ourselves up again . you don't look happy , i can see it and
see-ing is believing .

i really miss that smile on your face .
it hurts me to know that the reason that it's not there anymore is because of me .
微笑吧。。什么事情都不要管。。。我只要你开开心心像以前那样。。。

being happy is the least i want you to be ...
of course , i will be happy too :)
the same old sentence ' if you are happy , i will be happy too ' ..

being happy isn't a really hard thing to do .
开心还是难过也一样要坚强地过日子。。。
why not be happy and live life ?

whether or not , at some point of time in life , there will be obstacles that are hard to overcome ,
we can face it with an open mind or we could just fall to the obstacle and never move on .
Life's a carousel , we got to ride it well ..

i only let you go because i love you .

i think if life separates us and we could be in two totally different places ;
i will always remember that when i pass my life in this period of time ;
i will be thankful for that and hopefully wherever you are , you will be thankful too .
i think that's the best we could wish for ..

2011-07-10T17:47:00.002+08:00

my heart is broken and i can't find all the pieces
to put them back together again because one of
them is you ..

nothing to blog today . mind is in a mess ..

2011-07-09T23:22:00.001+08:00

this hand misses yours ..

I really don't know what to do now ..
No matter how much I try to enjoy myself , I can never enjoy ..
You will always pop up in my mind .. I use games , homework & going out to suppress myself to stop thinking bout you but I can't .. I brought all these upon myself .. Even now , I feel that I'm annoying you even though you told me you are not .. You don't reply to my messages that fast anymore .. 我累了... Stop torturing me ..

2011-07-07T00:40:00.003+08:00

i should have treated you right , i'm sorry ...

day15;
re-read our conversations on my old iphone ..
those memories will be forever etched in my mind & heart ..
i noticed that i really didn't treat you well ..
i get angry at stuffs i wasn't suppose to be ...
i get sad over some things ...
alot of arguments can be avoided too ..
that day can be avoided too ..
whatever i say now , is pointless too ..
what matters is that i realize my mistakes and carry on as a better me ..
maybe one day .. hopefully , you will see the change and give me another chance ..

till then , i will wait patiently .. standing by you always ..

' i guess , it's just like one of those ' i miss you ' days . '

P/S ; the photo above is mine ! if you want to save it , please tell me :)

2011-07-06T00:35:00.002+08:00

Relationship is like a ring.
Wear it & it will hold your finger tightly.
Remove it, & it will make you feel its absence.

day 14 ,
i told myself to not message you today but in the end ,
i can't resist the temptation to message you ..
well , some say it's best for me to not message you ..
but how ? i tried today .. i force myself to sleep ! I OFF-ED MY PHONE !
i place my phone inside the cupboard but in the end , i still message you ...
this shows how much i really need you ..
it's weird to not even message you for one minute you know ?
it's freaking weird !
well , i'm quite calm already ..
no longer sad or emo emo already ~
just that sometimes when i think of the past , i will get a little emo .
other than that , i'm fine :)
i'm studying hard too as PROMISED ! :)
well , that's all i guess ! :)

i'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do ...

2011-07-05T01:07:00.002+08:00

day 13 ;
well , it's been 13 days since my relationship ended ..
hmmm.. it''s hard for me to accept it as i really cherish this relationship ..
i been trying hard to get her back .. well , silly me .. that's all i can say to myself ..

i hate you for not trying to fix this relationship ;
i hate you for avoiding the problem instead of solving it ;
i hate you for causing me all these pain ;
i hate you for acting like you don't give a damn but actually you do ..
but ultimately , i hate myself for not hating you and still holding on ,
and loving you ..

you want me to give up on you .
you want me to find better ones than you .

SURE ! there're definitely WAY BETTER ONES out there .
there're people more attractive , intelligent & caring than you .
Yet , i chose YOU !
you may be stubborn , quiet , insecure , unable to express your feelings but i love the way you are .. because loving you mean disregarding all your bad characteristics .

i just don't understand .
maybe it's just wishful thinking or probably mindless thinking ,
but if i was given one more chance , i swear i would love you right .

till then , i'll continue dreaming .. for that day to come ..
i will never let go you go , no matter how bad the situation is ..

2011-07-02T00:19:00.002+08:00

sometimes , i must really thanks people close to me especially my mum for advising me everytime i screw stuffs up !
after a long talk with her , i finally realize i'm damn stupid ..
shall listen to what she say as it sounds really true .. hmmm... :)

i can't be the old me anymore but i can be a better me ..

2011-07-01T23:18:00.002+08:00

day 8 , need i say more ?
pain , sadness ...
you seems so cold to me ..
why ..
i feel that i'm not important to you anymore ..
maybe people are really right ..
i'm just hurting myself more ..
i'm really tired already ..
i wish i got guts like some people , dare to jump off the building ..
dying can't solve the problem but at least , i won't feel pain afterwards ..

tired of feeling like this everyday ..

2011-06-30T23:45:00.002+08:00

keeping today's post short and simple .
Peeps celebrated my birthday in school today ,
well i got a bigbigshock when i saw the teddy bear whom now is on my bed .
as well as the wallet they gave me , yeah it's about time i changed a wallet ..
it's been so long since i celebrated my birthday , abit weird for me though ..
but i appreciate what you guys have done for me , i will try to get back my mood ,
it's hard but i'll try ..

day 7 ; one week .
i need , miss , want & love you .
i'm still clinging on to the past .
i miss how things used to be .
each time the clock tick 10:49pm ,
this time once meant so much to us ..
i learnt my lesson already ... just this one week is a torture for me ..
one week without you is already so painful , i don't know how long more i can't stand it ..
how i hope all these are just a big nightmare and i will wake up from it soon ..
i'm in real pain ... the pain of losing someone that meant so much to me ...
i need you ... i want you back ... i'm sorry .. really .. i promise things will be better ...

2011-06-29T15:49:00.003+08:00

day 6 ,
it's been hard getting over you .
it's really hard when everything reminds me of you ..
losing you is like somebody just turned off all the light ..
those standard routine of my everyday life for the past few months has changed ..
it's hard to adapt to it ..
it's especially painful when i'm still holding on and knowing nothing can change ..

i know that saying sorry is useless , it's how i make it right after my mistake ..
have i not make it right ?
i'm tired of acting normal when i'm actually dying in the inside ..
i really miss you ..
your voice , have not heard it since that day ..
the one that controlled my arm swings , that's not gonna happen anymore ...
the one that keep ' sour ' me , knowing that i like sour stuffs .
the one that said that she will love me no matter what ..

losing you is like losing half of my heart .
i feel empty really ..

2011-06-26T02:37:00.002+08:00

day 3 ,
thank you for making me realize my mistake .
i have regain my positive outlook of life .
without you , i will still be living under my own shadow .
you're my light at the end of the tunnel .
you made me step out of my own shadow .
现在我只要你开心，我就心满意据了...

' love conquers all ' .

2011-06-25T02:09:00.002+08:00

went out with my sibling , cousins and cousin's girlfriend .
well , i wasn't happy going out at first because i got fever and diarrhoea in the morning ..
and i wasn't really in the right mood too ..
after going to the funfair , we went back to our cousin house ..
i lie down on my bed .. thinking about stuffs and what can be done then ..
well , i got emotional .. so my cousin's girlfriend decided to talk to me ..
she really saved me , i'm serious ! she really helped me alot ..
i never felt that relieved before ..

she said ' 有些事是不可以勉强的，勉强是没有幸福的。。there's only one thing you can do now is to be more open-minded . '

if you call me because you're concerned , i'm okay with it . but if you want to rub salt into my wound and make me feel worst then you're not welcomed at all .. i gave you face and talk nicely to you .. do you know how much my self-esteem was hurt from just those few words ?

how could you say those words without even thinking , i might have broken up with her but that doesn't mean my feelings will change for her .. think before you say , you totally don't deserve any respect . seriously ...

day 2 ,
it's hard but i must persevere ..
i will do any means and ways just to make you not suffer and be happy ...

爱一个人是要她开心，和不是要得到她的人 .....
有了她的人又没了她的心，哪有什么用呢 ? ....

2011-06-24T00:21:00.002+08:00

today ... i faced my biggest fear ..
i didn't know what to do when those words just flashed out ..
i was in a state of confusion ..
i realized i did her wrong ..

i just want a chance from you ..
i really can make it all right again ..
i realized it too late to say all these already ..

you know , i felt as if i was dying ..
i just feel so empty ..
no matter how much my friend console me i just felt empty in the inside .
it's like a part of me is missing ..

i really regretted .
i'm sorry that i didn't cherish you when you were with me ..
i just want you back ..
i know i'm wrong but
can you give me another chance to atone my mistakes ?

i'll make sure i will never hurt you again ..
though , our relationship may end ..
but my heart will always belong to you like how it was for the past few years .
iloveyou ♥

2011-04-24T11:55:00.001+08:00

things all seems so confusing now ..
I think it's better to shut up ,
and stop caring about others ..
because being good doesn't have it's advantages ..
I think I should come to a conclusion soon .. I hope , really hope , I won't regret it ..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-03-24T00:09:00.002+08:00

it has been such a long time since i blogged .
almost a month ...
such a hectic month ..
NPAP trainings , School , ASP !
driving me mad ...
i seriously need a break !
but , i think that there won't be any time left for breaks !
if i stop , people will overtake me ..
people will snatch my chances of promoting to secondary 5 ..
the world waits for no one ..
the one who is willing to work hard and persevere will then
truly succeed ..
the world is like that , it's unfair ..
so deal with it ..
life's never fair ...

i agree that , i'm sensitive .
i agree that , i'm selfish .
i agree that , i'm not that smart(stupid) .
i agree that , i suck badly .
i agree that ........
even though , i have so many flaws ..
i never whine ... i never complain ..
i didn't give up yet ...

i guess , i have too much things to pour out ..
i'm like this ...
i love to bottle everything up ..
i hate myself ..

2011-03-09T23:41:00.002+08:00

a quick post before i get back to my work ..
i feel so stress...
teacher's expectations of me are just so high ...
i'm not sure whether i can make it ...
i keep on disappointing her from time to time ...

i just can't help to think too much you know ?
i just don't know why ...
it makes me feel so uneasy ..
there's positive and negative thoughts but it looks like
the negative thoughts are overpowering the positive one ...
which makes me pessimistic ...

i'm too tired to think of anything now ..
so many works to be done ..
i'm not complaining or stuffs like that ..
i just need to pour everything out ..

Oh girl , you make me crazy at times ...
it's hard to read your mind ...
maybe it's too simple or maybe it's just too complicated ..
i don't know but i just love the way you are ♥

love is pure greatness .
no wonder , it's so addictive ..
it got me hooked ...

signing off,
Sherman ..

2011-02-24T00:28:00.002+08:00

it's been long since i blogged .
my blog is damn dead ...
very busy lately ..

it's 12:31am and i'm here blogging ..
my schedule is really tight ..
Art coursework , Main Subjects & NPCC ...
well, hardship is part of life right ?

it's impossible to get what you want without hardwork and determinations ..
Desserts is stressed spelled backwards .
it's impossible to taste the success without tasting the hardship .

on my mind now , is to study hard and give it all i have !
well , my eyes are closing ..
nights :)

i love you ♥ :)

2011-02-08T16:00:00.002+08:00

my blog is dead ,
i need to revive it .

well , hope i don't get too emotional with this post ..
really ain't myself lately ..
school is too pressurizing ,
Art & Chemistry cannot make it .
My Chemistry is improving already ,
Miss Lin told me i got 9/10 for the previous worksheet , she gave me ..
For Art , my teacher keep on neglecting me and i didn't managed to finish 5 sketches .. HELLO ! it's not that i didn't put in effort , it's just that i don't have enough time and help from teacher.. STOP treating us like LA SALLE or NAFA kids .. We ain't !

im really very tired ..

2011-01-20T23:55:00.002+08:00

in terms of studies ,
i have been progressing quite well for all subject except chemistry and mother tongue ..
i just can't help falling asleep in these two classes ..
my maths is progressing well ..
i already promised myself to study hard for N'Level .
i don't want to disappoint my mum and my cousin ..
they have been giving me alot of support ...

so what if i am the only Normal Academic Student at home ?
does that means i am lousier than you guys ?
actually , im proud of myself ..
i was actually a pre-matured baby ..
early by 3months .
after i was born , i had autism .
i overcome this disability when i was young ..
you can choose to believe it or not ... i was really born with autism .

it's hard to overcome autism and i did it !
how hard can N'Level Be ?
if i put my soul and heart to it ..
i can definitely make it up to secondary 5 .

Love cannot be measured in time because ,
it's the small little things that counts .
You can love a girl for 2-3 years but if you know nothing about her ,
it's useless right ?

Sherman .

2011-01-16T14:06:00.002+08:00

fancy drill is over already ...
2-3 months just passed off like that ..
the pain we all went through ..
the sacrifices we all made ..
i guess , it didn't gone to waste ..

yesterday was our performance .
everybody was nervous & scared .
well some was in pain too ..
but in the end , all of us just endured with
whatever we are having .
for me , i don't know how we did yet as i haven't seen the video .
but from the applause and cheering , i know we did pretty well ..

well done , fancy drill team :)

2011-01-10T22:28:00.002+08:00

im so scared .
im so tired .
im so frustrated .
i don't know what to do ..
the unending worries of this world ...

im having N Level this year yet,
my parents are causing such a big impact on me ..
im a growing teenager,
whatever i encounter now , will affect me ..
you may not know me well but please ,
im starting to be a crybaby already ...
when i think of this house ,
tears will just flow out instantaneously ..
i just don't know what to do ..

i don't want to live in this hell hole anymore ..
nobody understands me except my sibling whom only understand me a little ..
obviously , they grew up with me ..
i need someone who understand me ...
be it friends , teachers or whoever ..
i feel so inferior ..
i feels that no one feels me ..
that's what im feeling all this while ..
i might not be showing it but in my heart , i am ..
i don't want people to worry for me ..
but, im not sure how long i can endure it ..
i am really really very tired ...

i actually do cry for a reason not because im cry baby or what ..
because for what i know , Tears are 99% Emotions & 1% Water ..

Sherman .

2011-01-09T01:43:00.002+08:00

sometimes , it's hard to show my true feelings to everybody ..
i can't even express my feelings out ..
all i do is smile all day ..
but when i stop doing that , people will ask what happen , this and that ...
is it wrong to express my own feelings ?
i don't want to live under a mask ..
i want to be me ...
clearly , this is not me ..

i have to lie to everybody .
fake that i am happy .
but when i am not .
you know how torturing it is ?

it's funny that so many things had happen &
im still smiling .. putting on that smile ..
i don't want people to worry for me ...

i have no one to talk to at home ..
my siblings don't understand me .
my parents ... sigh ... they have more problems than me ..
what can i do ? this whole family is messed up .
im messed up ...

there are people who i can talk to ..
people who understand me ..
people who care for me ..
whoever he/she/they is ..
i just want to thank them ..
for being there while im going through a nightmare .

clearly , there's no point in staying at home ..
monday to friday , i got my own activites like CCA and suchs .
will only reach home around late afternoon and sometimes evening .
Saturday & Sunday , go out with friends or go meet my mum ..
will only reach home at night ..
this house is only a place for me to sleep & eat ..
it no longer serves it purpose ...

my dad keep pissing me off .
hey , your wife is gone . so what ? my mother is gone too ! the only person who listens to us .. know what we really feel & understand us ..
you treat it like the end of the world .. yeah .. what about us ? the only person who listen , understand and know how we feel is gone .. so what should we do ? tell me ...
because of you , we lost our mother .. tell me , who are we suppose to blame ..
please , you only want her money ..
drop that act .
6 years ago , it's like this ..
now , still the same ..
when you want to change ..
i don't have a father like you ..

no doubt , i was in tears while writing this post ...
but , im not crying because of this worthless father i had ..
but because i miss my mother ...
im sure , my brother and sister are also thinking the same way as me ..
but they are also holding back their feelings & emotions ..
go on and call me a crybaby ... i don't give a damn ..
but , think before you say ..
put yourself in my shoes and ask yourself 'will you do the same , if you were me ' .

sorry to make anyone worry upon reading this post ..
im alright .. really ...

Sherman .

2011-01-05T22:50:00.002+08:00

since i can't sleep . i shall blog again ..
school has started !
having attire check for two days straight ! didn't get caught . * lucky me *
time passes very fast in school .
maybe because of the teachers .
Especially English , we need more teachers like miss clarissa ng .
to go to secondary 5 , i need to get below 19 or 19 points .
my target for N level is 13 .
cousin promise to buy me an ipad if i get 13 points .
EMB3= 19 points or below .
so i shall set my target now !
English , Grade 1
Maths , Grade 3
Combined Humanities , Grade 1
Art , Grade 3
Science , Grade 3

All of these are possible .
My English Currently at Grade 2 .
My Maths Currently at Grade 9 . but i know if i am willing to put in effort , i am able to get a Grade 3 .
Combined Humanities is already at Grade 1
Art currently at Grade 5 , practices makes perfect . will do some sketches every now and then .
Science currently at Grade 5 , if i stop sleeping in class and start taking down notes . i am confident to get higher than grade 3 for science .

well , enough of subjects and such .
going for NPAP !
hope this year we are gold unit ?
because to wear Number one uniform is like once-in-a-life-time .
i think that , i am going to be very busy as HQ will organize lots of training for NPAP and i have to study for my N Levels too.
I hope i can cope !

Will blog often lately .
it's not good to keep everything in my mind ..
so this blog will be used as a place to hang my dirty laundry.

Wake up ! ,
Sherman .

2011-01-02T04:05:00.002+08:00

since i can't sleep , i shall blog some stuffs .
it's already the second day of 2011 .
soon school will reopen that means , homework & loads of stuffs will come falling against me .
as well as rules & regulations .
well ... enough of school ..

so what if i didn't do the thing , i am suppose to do today ...
in my opinion and perspective ,
before you love others , you must love yourself .
before you love others , you must learn to be selfless & think of the other party .
before you love others , you must know that sometimes sacrifices is okay .
so what if you guys got more experiences than me .
does that even matter ?

im so tired of those words ..
you think saying a 'i love you ' is easy ..
or 'be my stead ' ?
for me , it's hard .
i don't want to be a distraction & i don't want to be distracted too ..
love is like a poison ..
once you get it , it's hard to get an antidote or get cured .
either the person you love , love you back or you just give up ..
this two thing are one of life most impossible mission .

my family is already a distraction for me ..
i don't wish to get distracted anymore further ..

if you think you know me ,
you are wrong .

Sherman .

2010-12-31T23:19:00.000+08:00

2011 is on it's way .
Many good & bad things happened along the way .
But all of it helps me to grow up .

I realize I fufilled most of my 2010 resolutions .

A new year ahead of us.
Of course , there must be a new set of resolution for me .

1) Study hard for N level
2) Score well regardless it's common test , Prelims or N level .
3) Study more, Play less .
4) Stay focus in class , no more sleeping .

Sherman .

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-12-23T00:50:00.002+08:00

i have nothing to blog about ,
other than bruises & injuries ..

Christmas is coming ,
and i don't have any wish .
usually every year i diedie also have a wish .
seriously so many things happened this year .
it's hard to adapt but i must try .

actually , today i was suppose to go to my uncle's house and eat 'tang yuan' but
what's the point ? this house doesn't even look like a house to me anymore.
吃汤圆已经没有意义了，这个家永远不能团团圆圆了。

Fancy drill is progressing well .
those people who keep giving me empty promises , i don't care anymore .
T&S Solo is almost perfected :D

sorry to make those who worry again , im seriously fine :D

Sherman .

2010-12-16T00:37:00.002+08:00

shall not let anyone worry about me from now on .
just came back from NPCC Hong Kong Trip .
It was great though i was sick .

Fancy drill training is somehow neutral today .
tried out throwing of rifle up the stage ,
and lots and lots of dangerous stuffs.
ended up with lots of bruises but still happy with my progress.
then after training we were singing songs at hall .
hyper ! though , the Cooperation among us is improving but i hope it will be better .

seriously , negative thinking is not helping me . now at least , i got people to talk to .
we all need someone to talk to right ?
friday still got training , will try my best to complete everything .
i hope my throwing can be perfected .

no longer unhappy ,
Sherman .

2010-12-04T21:01:00.002+08:00

these few weeks has been like a nightmare .
fights , arguements & crazy shits .
no peace at all .
all day i am just thinking on how to leave this god damned house .
i think i already came up with 101 ways of getting out of this house .
i have already given up the hope of not agree-ing with their divorce .
now i just want them to quickly sign the god damn paper and go for the separation ..
i totally have nothing positive to blog about .
this life is too stress for me .
CCA , Family & School .
Freaking stress .

this indeed has a great impact on me .

tired of smiling ,
Sherman .

2010-12-04T00:40:00.003+08:00

girl , do you know that it's hard for you & me to be friends ?
as long as i still love you ,
it's impossible .
how much i try to be just friend with you ,
i just can't do it .
i can only just treat you more than friends .
it's so easy to talk to you .
you're so amazing .
you never fail to make me happy and smile infront of the computer .
love songs reminds me of you .
there are at least a thousand things that will reminds me of you .
regardless of the ending , a part of me will still love you .

Sherman .

2010-12-03T19:39:00.002+08:00

sigh ....
time to throw in everything . after reading this , you all will know why i am like this .
wednesday night , my mother & father had a fierce fight .
mother threaten to take a knife to kill my father ..
brother and sister didn't do anything ..
i was trying to stop them .
but the fight became worst and start into a fist fight ..
i couldn't do anything ..
after everything , my father blamed me ...
i didn't do anything and he blame me ...
after that , i don't even feel like staying home already ...

today , i went out .
he called me ,
then he scolded me ..
fuck ! i didn't even do anything ..
i just don't know where my sister go ..
he totally ruined my mood ..

all these while , he been giving me lots of problems ..
he keep forcing us to convince my mum not to sign the divorce letter ..
there's nothing we could do ..
it's her decision .
then he keep crying and hitting himself ..
he has been acting really crazy ..
that's why i always can't sleep ..
im really scare what if he go crazy in the middle of the night and kill us all ?
he has threatening us he will jump off the building to us ...
he somemore has the master key to all the room ..

my siblings and i went to my cousin house to avoid him .
he come all the way to my cousin house and talk alot of nonsenses...
how am i going to live with him ?
im really tired ..

as everybody know i am always the defiant one ,
it's not that i want to be defiant ..
it's because i feel very insecure ..

since young , both of you are always biased to my brother and sister ..
yet i lack attention ...
seriously ...

my mask is breaking ...

Sherman ..

2010-12-01T21:36:00.003+08:00

it's killing me .
fancy drills problems & family problems.,,
sigh , i think i really need help .
i don't think i can meet the expectations already ...
attendance sucks .
trying very hard to get all these done but how ? tell me ? what can i do ?
somemore , my family recently got some problems .. it's really hard to juggle fancy drill and family at the same time .. seriously , can you guys wake up ? im struggling here.. yet trying to put on a smile while some of you just slack away and do your own stuffs ...
you guys must understand , it's not just one man effort or two or three . it's a team effort ...
i don't want those who put in their best to regret at the end of the day because remember ! this is OUR PERFORMANCE !
seriously , i am mentally and physically drained out ...
i might collapse seriously..
im not asking for pity-ness here ..
you guys must understand ...
you are not happy and you go off and do your whatever stuffs you got ... how selfish ?
can i say that im not happy and go and do my other stuffs ?
seriously , i can give you my solo-ist position .. i seriously don't care about it ..
if it really matters to you .. come RIGHT AT MY FACE and tell me you want it .
because i do what's best for us .
i can say , im not the best but do you think you are anywhere better ?
it's hard for me to be smiling when inside me is burning , tearing & crying .
i have no choice since i made a promise .

Sherman .

2010-11-12T00:20:00.002+08:00

hey people !
it's been long since i blog .

well , i'll do a reflection on what i did lately .

Secondary One Drill Competition !

i almost cried .
too stress .
can't meet my own expectations .
people don't turn up for trainings .

well , i remembered one training .
only 3 person attended .
Expectations was at least a bronze .
At first , i thought they couldn't make it .
but , thanks to my fellow batchmates for helping me out .
we managed to clinch a bronze .
i remembered telling myself before they release the result , who cares what we get ? the best is that we all had fun during the process and we learn something! Effort is what it counts :)
i did learn something from them . it's right when people say that we are all here to learn :) .
i learn that , this ain't one man show ! it's teamwork :) .

Recently , my parents got a divorce .
i don't see the need of overreacting here .
now i feel comfortable to talk about it .
when couples don't have that basic trust in each other , i think they should let go .
well , i don't agree with divorce because i don't want everybody to be unhappy but well , i was being to naive . i just have to agree with their decision . there're adults . i trust them to be more mature . since i was young , my parents was argue-ing all the time . i know that my mum have long since wanted to divorce with him . it's not that he's not a good father . it's just that he just can't understand us . probably , generation gap ! he don't have the same thinking as us .
but , i hope he see this as a chance to turn over the new leaf . their separation period will start soon . my mother will be leaving us to him and she'll leave to thailand for a long period of time .
whatever the outcome is , i believe they made the right decision . so that's why there's a saying . "it takes a year to build trust but it takes one second to destroy it " . Whatever it is , life carry on :) .

Sherman .

2010-10-21T22:49:00.003+08:00

Consequences ,
decided to blog about it today .

people usually do stuffs without thinking about the consequences .
i am a person who have a deep thinking in short , i think too much .
i also think of the consequences of everything i do .
because there's consequences for everything we do .

i would like to relate this to an incident .
this guy was trying to impress people by playing with the extinguisher in my perspective .
i think it's retarded to play with a fire extinguisher .
what if there's a case where they did to use it and there's no more left ?
Consequences , think before you act .

Sherman .

2010-10-18T21:13:00.002+08:00

Today had Extra Training For The Secondary Ones.
They have yet to wake up .
I really hate to scold them .
I already refrain from scolding them .
When i talk nicely , they step over my head .
When i start to be fierce , they complain to other CLs .

What do they want ?
It's so difficult to satisfy them .

I really don't know what to do with them .
Majority of them are alright .
It just take a few to influence them .

I just ask for the basic respect .
When i talk , you listen .
When you talk , i listen .
When your in a squad, don't fidget and talk .

I have been in their plight before i know what they're thinking ,
I guess it's my retribution .
They are like our reflection when we are in our CADET Days .

I hope tommorow will be a better day .

Sherman .

2010-10-08T22:43:00.003+08:00

i seriously don't know what to blog .
im feeling very depressed lately .
i don't know what to do .
sigh... i don't want to talk about this anymore ...

Today's Clarence Birthday !
Happy Birthday Sempai !

Stay back 4 times in one week for my art preparation work .
Developments half done .
going to clarence's house tommorow to do ART .

Just now , i got bumped by a car .
the story is ,
I didn't notice about the red light as i thought it was going to turn to green light .
so i just went ahead and walk .
Suddenly, i heard screeching tires and the car bumped me , i fell down .
No Sprains , No Injuries .
Just that my waist feels pain whenever i move as i fall and landed on my waist .
I quickly get up and quickly walk away .
i didn't dare to look back as i was in wrong ..
if it doesn't recover by sunday , im going to the doctor .

Sherman .

2010-10-03T21:35:00.002+08:00

it has been a long time since i last blogged .

i really wonder , after being hurt , will sorry even work ?
for me , i think that what's the point of sorry when the damage is done .
so no matter how much sorry you're going to say , it'll never work for me and some others.

im not feeling quite well for these few days .
everyone is studying like mad for exams .
im in mild exam fever mode now .
it have been so long since i studied for any exams .

if you are trying to make me feel bad and sympathize you . dream on .
seriously , get lost .
i can really laugh , nothing is so simple okay ? After saying all those words to me.
you think a sorry can remend everything that has happen ? NO !

I think i better carry on with studying .
Incase , anyone curse me go ITE again .
ITE is not bad too , you know ?
Next time , if you want to curse me. Curse me to drop out of school and not ITE .

Sherman .

2010-09-25T22:24:00.002+08:00

i really don't understand ,
why are you trying to make me jealous ?
but, i can tell you .
it's not working dude !
try harder !

i was really proud of myself to finish a formal letter in just less than 20mins !
i know it was quite a feat !
& Mr Yen was impressed .
Though, he didn't showed it but i know he's .
It has no grammar mistake or minimum mistakes .
I reviewed it a few times before handing it up.
To avoid common errors .

And , to haters .
i don't give a damn of what you think of me !
i am myself yeah !

so for now , screw off :)

Sherman .

2010-09-22T17:30:00.002+08:00

Played in the rain just now ,
My childhood memories flashed in my head .
How i wish i was young again ! when my hardest decision ,
was picking up a crayon !

Ate Subway just now with william.
We chatted alot .
We chatted for one hour or so .
Talk about alot of craps .

School was alright .
Everything was per normal .
Im starting to like maths already .
The feeling of able to solve questions is like *OMG*

The rain is fading , so has my love for you .

Sherman .

2010-09-21T18:21:00.002+08:00

is this one of your petty tricks again ?
i won't let my guard down .
you can bluff them but you can' t bluff me .
tsk , pathetic .

up till now , life is still as boring as ever .
nothing to do , only can study , study & study .
i really want to get out secondary school fast .
don't need to worry about attire-wise and such .
maybe , i really ain't the study guy type .
anyway, i promise myself , i have to score well for FYE .
so ya , can't lie to myself .
still no motivation to study but at least , i did listen attentively
in class already . not like time , either sleep or daydream or simply don't care .

looking forward to Fancy Drill Trainings in the 1 and a half month holidays and STC and HONGKONG TRIP :)

Sherman .

2010-09-19T01:41:00.002+08:00

nothing is so simple as it seems .
you cannot judge what you see.
you have to feel it .

i might be laughing and hyper all the time .
but , i can tell you , im a sadist .
i take most things negatively .
i think negatively .

i don't know why , it's just that i am like this .
yes , i am sensitive , but so ?
we are born with feelings .

i tend to blog about my feelings because i think that ,
the only thing i could talk to me is my blog .
the only thing there for me to talk to ,
forever giving me a listening ear and
never talking back to me .

i tend to think alot ,
i used to be a very silent person ,
but to avoid people for worrying about me ,
i live behind this mask .

the reason why ,
i don't tell or tell minimum amount of my problems to people ,
is that , i don't really trust people , as they have tensity to gossip .

that's the real me .

Sherman .

2010-09-17T23:15:00.003+08:00

People asked me "how you teach a bunch of animals ? " .
Seriously , i don't know how .
i just put in my all and teach ,
sometimes i feel that i am scolding too much .
So , i be lenient ,
and people told me i am too lenient with them .
I really don't know what to do .
They are good cadets .
I am person who like perfection , that explains why they are so far back .
i agree that's my cons .
but i changed already .
After weekly training , i listen to feedbacks from my team mates as well as the cadets .
and i try to change accordingly .

But , it's not up to you ,
to say stuffs that want to rewind time back and teach my sec 1s stuffs .
do you know that , it's some kind of insults to me and sec 1 ?
who are you to say that , you didn't go through what i have been through.
throughout all this hardship , the bond i created between them is indestructible .
im not sure , what are you hinting but i know is kind of insulting me .

And please , they are not animals .
You guys are once like them .
New & Confused .
If you were in their shoes and my shoes .
and someone comes to you and say "how you teach a bunch of animals " ? "wish i could rewind time and teach sec 1 " . what will you feel ? feel that your not good enough right ?

I don't understand , why don't you guys want to insult them ? even i don't insult them .
you like it if i insult you ? no right !

Please think before you say .

Sherman.

2010-09-15T23:01:00.002+08:00

hey peeps , i don't understand why are there people who want everything to go their way ?
if everything go your way ,
wouldn't life be useless ? perfection ? nothing is perfect .
Obstacles are there to test us ,
so when the same thing happen again ,
we would not make the same mistake again .
i really don't get it .
you think by venting anger on the internet can help anything ?
why don't you talk to that person face to face ?
don't be a key board warrior .
Don't try to gain sympathy by venting your problems ,
assuming people left you out and such .
it cheapens you . it's pathetic ! get it PATHETIC ! you downgrade yourself by saying stuffs that your selfish and stingy ,
what's the point man . if you face life so negatively ,
what's the point of living ? you can choose to live positively right ?
i have been hearing stuffs about you since secondary one .. seriously , i don't not know whether your sensitive or they are in wrong .
but , it has been so long ..
keeping grudges isn't good you know.. you should let go ..

Nothing is perfect you know ?
Thing don't usually go your way all the time you know ?

Sherman .

2010-09-03T21:47:00.002+08:00

School was okay today .
Got back my results for the term .
Filled with underlines and disappointment .

After school , Slacked with Clarence , Charles & Junhong .
Suddenly , Andrew sir came , chatted with him about NPCC .
He might be going for Hongkong trip . ^^

Went for the PYA thingy .
Very tiring ...
We thought we will be the last group to report back..
End up , we are the first group to report back ..

Went to Humanities room 1 and slack there..
Chat with Clarence and Mr Liew ...

Argh , Clarence told mr liew something ..
Plus , Mr liew know some stuffs that he wasn't suppose to know ..
Argh , why suddenly so many teacher know about this ....

After that , went off with Clarence & Charles :)
Bid Farewell with them at MRT station .
Didn't went home straight .. i was walking around my neighborhood.
Thinking about some stuffs.
After that , went home and shower ...
Plurk a little , Went to west mall and had dinner .
Now blogging :)
Tommorow have to go and pray ... what a drag ..
At least , i give some respect ...
As a free thinker , i very good follow you there and pray already .

-Word of the day :
Guilt

-Phrase of the day :
Guilt is regret for what we’ve done.
Regret is guilt for what we didn’t do.

Sherman .

2010-09-02T16:34:00.002+08:00

school was boring today .
went to band during free period .
Miss ong keep scolding people .
yeah , bored .
after school , went to canteen to slack .
well , nothing to do .. geezz .

go home , also nothing to do .
don't feel like doing homework suddenly .
hope my mood will be back later .
so , i can do my maths homework .

didn't know this untill today somebody told me ...

curse me go ITE ?
i'll take that as a compliment .

say i stalker ? your blog also not private .

since when i control you ? please , if you don't want to be controlled , no one will force you .. who ask you want to be controlled .

i admit i did backstab you but so ? didn't you backstab me too & please ! who started it first ? you should know yourself . don't need to say right ?

since when i say you blame me ? please don't be so sensitive . you got proof that i accuse you of blaming me ? no right ? i can say other people right ?

from this short sentence ： "U THOUGH U POST STAFF ABOUT ME IDK MAH? " i can infer that your stalking me ... how the hell do you know that i post stuff about you ? how sure are you ? since you are so sure , you must have been stalking my facebook wall post and blog post ... oh no , i must rephrase not stalking is looking since my blog not set to private right ?

"AND NW I POST TIS U FELT WAT IS WAT I FELT OF WAT U POST. " . come on larh , how sure are you again ? how you know i post about you .. seriously hor , i not so free to keep on posting about you .

hmmmm, you must overheard my plurk . wait ! wait ! since when did i say it was you ? i say NOBODY in PARTICULAR ! CHAT LOG IS BELOW , if you think i edit it you can check out the link : http://www.plurk.com/p/7a2il2 & why are you so sensitive ? as there is a saying "A guilty conscience never feels secure."

*Censored* says
Your cbox , got people scold you .

Sherman says
yeah .

Sherman says
ignore bah .

*Censored*says
You dont intend t delete it ?

Sherman says
some people are just jealous .

Sherman says
nah .

Sherman says
let the whole world see .

*Censored*says
Lols , okay ;D

Sherman says
that person should be ashamed bah .

*Censored*says
But you think is who ?

Sherman says
nobody in particular . when i see that comment , i was thinking : "geez , it's my problem that i want to act right , at least i have the

Sherman says
authority to act .

Sherman says
that person must be jealous bah .

& last thing , i understand why you post all these stuffs yeah ? i don't blame you but you also post something about my friends right ? incase , you don't know . i copy for you . "U THOUGH U BEHIND GOT PPL HELP SO WAT? BEHIND THEM THEY HAVE TO LISTEN TO OTHER N IT’S NOT U. " hmmmm ,they find you is not my problem already hor .. i clearly MENTION this thing here . I DON'T MIND !

Yeah & i like something about your post : " FUCK OFF! TINK BEFORE U TALK " . the vulgar is not necessary . hmmm think before you talk/say/post . well i agree with that . it applies to you as well , think before you blog . watch your mouth .

Sherman :)

2010-09-01T16:43:00.001+08:00

ARTIST STATEMENT

Emotions are part of everyday life.

Most of our decision are based on emotions . example , you are angry and that causes you to beat someone up . Angry itself is already an emotion , beating up someone is the decision you made because you’re angry .

As a teenager , I have gone through all sorts of emotions .

Love , Anger , Jealousy , Sadness are the main emotions I had gone through .

Emotions are part of growing up .

I choose the topic “Stacked Emotions” because as a teenager , there’s a lot of emotion I have been going through lately . For me , Art is about expressing yourself through one’s art .

I choose to do Paper Cut because I think it’s rather interesting and I am weak on my painting skills .

Emotions affect and are a part of our mood, which is usually a more sustained emotional state. Mood affects our judgment and changes how we process decisions.

Sherman Tay .

2010-08-31T20:10:00.004+08:00

today had teacher's day celebration .
EMCEES was downright lame .
School was okay today at least in my opinion .
There's no school tommorow .
But , there's maths homework .
Going to do it tommorow .
PYA Course this friday *one more badges to my collection* .
But i dread lectures .

Didn't go back to my primary school today .
My sister told me , got some girls was asking about me .
I think most of my primary school friends have change alot .
Will be going back next year :D

Love doesn't demand to be loved back, but it doesn't mean it exists to be taken for granted.

Sherman .

2010-08-29T16:40:00.002+08:00

seriously , i couldn't care less about you !
you can complain , why we cannot ?
who do you think you are sia ?
boss isit ? we already give you alot of face to watch that movie with you even though we don't want . still show us attitude .. you think you who sia..

i can tell you ! we never regretted not watching the same movie with you ! we had fun together as well !!

went to william's party ! had fun and got myself drunk ... geezz.. i still having hangover now .... PAIN !!!

well , CCA had step down .. time to study hard x1000.
oh ya , i got promoted to sergeant :)

Sherman .

2010-08-14T11:10:00.002+08:00

Yesterday we had our Sergeant Promotion test ! i was as tensed as usual ! ready to screwed up anytime .

Was given an hour or so to practice for our promotion test while sir took the secondary one cadets for their promotion test . i was the last to give command and control *god , i screwed it ! * why can't i just relax ! even junhong told me that i was darn tensed up ... :( i know which leg to land but i am just too nervous when i am saying the command ! WHY ?! but i don't have such "weird" feeling when i am teaching my sec 1s leh ! Anyway ! after sir was done with the sec 1 , we had our promotion test ! aish ! my hair and finger nail got caught ;( overall , everything was ok . one rubber band kena took out . MOI was ok . Uniform insepection was okay except for my hair and finger nails :) i am confident in getting a sergeant rank with 2nd class drill badge if possible .

was thinking whether to go for the Hong Kong Trip but now i think there's not a need to go already . since clarence edusave left few dollar so most probably he can't go so .... i think i don't go bah ! as i won't be enjoying myself there too ...

Went home , Eat Salmon + Rice with a cup of Orange Juice for dinner :D

Signing off,

Sherman .

2010-08-08T18:57:00.003+08:00

Huda : hei sherman , huda here . actualli your post is kind of true , we had too much scoldings and stuff like that . i know its very saddening to see decreasing number of sec 1 coming for the weekly training but we must think on the positive side , we are scolding for a reason , not for fun , and i know that at times the words that we use are harsh and we have to really work it out . and we also have to learn from our past mistake like in our sec 1 and sec 2 year in NPCC and being a cadet being scolded and stuff like that we also know that some of the sec one might hate us , and stuff like that , it really makes me want to break down .

Huda , i know it's very Saddening . i am not blaming the other secondary one cadets who came and treat the training seriously . it's just that there's a handful of them that do not even care about our people feeling and attend training for the sake of it . i must admit sometimes , we are harsh . that's our weakness ! we get too serious during training .

But Don't Break down . you can always tell me your problems regarding the secondary one cadets , as your IC , i am held responsible if anything happens to you , murni & junhong .
And i know i can't breakdown because if i breakdown , what will become of you , murni & junhong ? who like to scold , scold , scold ! definately not us ! nobody like to get scolded at ! but sometimes or most of the times they are asking for it . so i suggest some thing at the last few paragraphs at my reflection . i hope to call you guys out someday and try to improvise and change some stuffs .. example , games etc.

for some reason , my tag board is lagging and i can't write anything on it ! so i have to use blog .

Sherman .

Reflection on the secondary one extra training .

2010-08-08T17:01:00.003+08:00

i have to let my feelings out again , it's no good keeping everything inside me . so i decided to post it on blog .

I must apologies for being rash and say that you guys suck . For that , i apologies sincerely ! SORRY ! Well everyone make mistake . you guys have feelings , i also have feelings ! your human , im human too !

To the "somebody" who complained about me scolding Asher mad ,
i must admit , I DID NOT insult HIM !
Please don't go around telling Teacher officer or Him saying that i insulted him and called him mad .
Do you realized the serious-ness of this matter ? you could have gotten me in trouble .(well , i am now) . i only told the squad : " Asher said that : "One training is not enough for you guys , he say that you guys need more training . " " so , do you guys want more training ? then i continued by saying " you so free , you come teach larh , you think we so free meh ..tsk " .

I just said this ! and YOU ! said i insulted him by calling him MAD ! maybe it's my tone or what ! but i can guarentee ! i never ever insulted him !

You even say that i say vulgarities when your the one who is using that tone to me and my CLs . you even spout vulgarities to us . i did not ! you did ! why go around making up stories ? I know you hate the CLs and me nagging at you guys and you ! but why use this tone ? we are humans too ! we have feelings too ! we are not robots with no emotions ! Reply-ing our MSG with replies like "shut up larh " & " i don't care " . who do you think you are ? we are your seniors ! we are your CLs ! even we don't use that tone to you ! you should reflect on yourself ! don't let that attitude of yours ruin the whole squad !

I also reflected on myself , i realized that , WE have been scolding the sec 1s too much lately .. the number of sec 1s attending have been decreasing . WE got to do something about it. so i have been trying to think of games instead of DRILLS , DRILLS and MORE DRILL SESSION ! . thinking of games that can motivate them as well as letting them know how and why this drills is use and learning how to excute it properly and during games , CLs can also relax and play the games with them .. instead of taking them for drills and end up scolding them .

This week had been a hectic week for me .
I feel so disappointed .
But , i know that there are most of them are willing to learn . so i must not give up ! MUST NOT !
i can't let one person tarnish US and the sec 1s :D

To my CLS : Hard method always works ( to shut them up ) but we will only end up destroying that bond between the sec 1s , that's why we should try the soft method first .. if not choice , use the hard method and explain to them why we scolded them during de-brief (if there's one) or make time for it :D .

Sherman .

2010-08-05T22:18:00.002+08:00

Decided to write out My Team Strengths & Weaknesses !

We Are United & Comfortable With Each Other !
We Have A Systematic way of doing stuffs !
We Cooperate with each other most of the time .

&&
What i want my sec 1 cadets to achieve at the end of their secondary one life .

I want them to be unified enough .
I want them to meet our expections in Drills , Behaviour & Attitude .

Sec 1 are starting to get restless . sighs....

2010-07-31T11:02:00.002+08:00

Been so long since i blog ,

Yesterday , Didn't go school ... Reason ? Overslept ><
But i went for NPCC , Luckily , Only Mr Yen saw me ! *he didn't do anything*

Had NDP Rehearsal ! Fun at times and tiring at times ! especially the hentak kaki !
Promotion Test Coming soon .. I memorized baton drills command already ! HAPPY !
Promotion test should be smooth-sailing for me , i guess ? if i don't have panic attack .

From what i see , PT was a disaster yesterday as Clarence(PT HEAD) was doing NDP rehearsal with us . PT start 20 mins late, PT end 20 mins earlier . Total time= 1 hour.. so they only had 20 mins of PT..

Secondary One Cadets are having extra training on 3 august(tuesday) , yeah , i think it's needed because their competition is nearing and next week no NPCC training ... so yeah ! and for my throat , hope it recover faster !

From what i can see , my fellow team mates are also having alot and alot of stress ! GOOD LUCK TO YOU GUYS ! don't Breakdown ar ! any problem can tell me :D

Later going out to play pool ! yay ! time to relieve stress !!!
Meeting Clarence at BB MRT later .

SHERMAN .

2010-07-14T18:39:00.002+08:00

It's been long since i blogged .

i just want to pour out what i am feeling right now .

I am tired of acting ! i want to be "ME" again !
So many mistakes , so many words , so many times .
I fail ! i fail , i fail , i fail !
NPCC is driving me nuts !
Every week have to do lesson plan and teach the secondary one cadets !
I guess they are not even least grateful to me . somemore say i fierce all these.
Do you think i want to be fierce? who likes to scold, scold , scold & torture , torture , torture ? not me ! a sicko would but definitely not me . i am the friendly type but the position requires me to be fierce if not they will just step over my head like how they step over my other "team" mates .

Every week , difficult problems and obstacles to overcome .
Really freak the daylight out of me !
I just want to be normal okay !
You guys want to teach this and that , carry on .
You guys don't want me to teach then so be it , i don't teach .
I'll just stay aside and shut the bloody fuck up .

To My Dearest Team Mates ,
No use being angry .
this just prove that they are successful in pissing you guys off .
&
If you guys are really pissed , no use backstabbing.
go and confront her seriously .

Either you confront her or shut up .
I don't want any troubles .
I hope today misunderstanding is a lesson that you guys can learn from .

Sherman .

2010-07-04T01:04:00.002+08:00

As the clock ticks , the day have passed on . it's no longer my special day .

Hello Peeps. it's long since i blogged . it's 1:05am now.
It's officially 4th july.
My birthday is history already.
But what awaiting me is the wonderful new start for me as a 15th year old boy :D
I am already 15 . it's up to you guys to think whether i have grown .

Thanks to those people who have wished me happy birthday , i really appreciate it .

No-Longer-Birthday-Boy,
Sherman

2010-06-15T20:48:00.002+08:00

12.06.2010

Of course, Day 2 will definitely be better then day 1.

We improved as well as the Secondary one cadets :D]

Had POP and BBQ.

Sleep.

13.06.2010

Nothing Much, but i must say, thanks for keeping your promise , Group 1 & 2 :D

Had PT, Games .

Went home.

Sleep.

NPCC SECONDARY ONE CAMP

2010-06-13T23:51:00.002+08:00

11.06.2010

Woke up on the right side of the bed .
Feeling Nervous and tired , i went to school with the right & positive attitude .
Saw Clarence , Junhong & some of our fellow cadet leaders .
Soon After that, Secondary one cadets start to come .

We quickly fall in & load our baggage and went to the parade square to fall in the secondary one cadets .
After Which, Rudy Sir told me to do and complete the food distribution list before lunch .
So, i proceed to the NPCC room and did some logistic stuffs and alot of counting and writing .

Half-way throughout the writing & counting, i was interrupted by Shijie saying that : "i had to explain & demonstrate the ice-breaker games to the secondary one cadets". Well, fair enough .
I went down to the parade square and explain & play the game with them . This is when i thought: "Why am i doing the food list, shouldn't i be with my cute and bubbly secondary one group? playing games with them?"

Fair Enough, i rush back to the NPCC room and continued my food list * i was rushing it though *
Soon, The Logistics have to clean up the NPCC room so i moved out of my comfort sit and sat quietly outside the NPCC room and continued with my stuffs.

After that, i went for lunch.
I didn't had lunch because i was the food list for the secondary one cadets.
Completed the food list for the sec 1 and hand it over to rudy sir.
I was glad that he approved it .

Went up to NPCC room and continued my food list for the Cadet leaders . * it was easy though because everything we ate was maggi mee*

After i was done, i joined in Songs & Cheers & Team Building Games Etc Etc. All i can say that We are nervous + we still can't completely control the secondary one. so everything was in a mess..

Dinner was "nice". *maggi mee*
Most Importantly, i get to interact with the secondary one cadets during dinner .

After which , Knot and lashing test. sad to say i got zero for the test ><

De-brief the secondary one cadets.
Sir De-brief us.

Went to sleep.
Something happen in the middle of the night.
It's useless to post it right?
So i shall not post it.

Shall Post Day 2 & 3 of the camp tommorow .

Sherman.

2010-05-24T18:09:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,
“Richness, can you take me with you?”
Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. “Vanity, please help me!”
“I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,” Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, “Sadness, let me go with you.”
“Oh … Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!”

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, “Who Helped me?”
“It was Time,” Knowledge answered.
“Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?”
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, “Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.”

2010-05-22T17:48:00.002+08:00

Hello peeps.
Got back all my exam results..
All Pass Except Maths.

Sigh, Got to work hard next term already.
No more slacky...

Yeah, Yesterday just bought a new high-cut shoes which cost S$119.
And three new tees.

Total cost=S$185.

Expensive.... but my mum pay :D
Thanks thanks..

Holidays are coming...
More Proficiency Courses are coming too..
Sec 1 camp also.

Yeah. i guess that's all..

Bye!

Sherman.

2010-05-11T19:49:00.002+08:00

Back to post.

Today woke up at 9am.
Prepared to go out.

Went out around 9:45am liddat.
Meet up with Zhijie,Junhong,Beng Kiat.

Went to mac.
Ate Fillet O Fish Set for breakfast.
After that,Slack,Took alot of pictures.

Went to west mall.
Walk walk.

Then go to school.
Wait for ISH to be opened.

Went in,
Do Math Paper 1.. CMI. i am so dead.

After that, Break time.

Went in to ISH again!
Do SS Paper. Ok lurh!

Went home.

SHERMAN.

2010-05-10T18:23:00.002+08:00

Going to pour everything out here~
Since, it's my blog!

What's wrong with me!
I couldn't find that "courage" in me to talk or go near you.
Have i gone nuts?
I used to be "OK" mode near you, now it's on "NOT OK" mode.

Screw it! I want my so-called "courage" back!!
I know it's weird to type all these things here.
Well, i don't care.

&&

Seriously, Don't Haolian larh.
Don't think you top in class can BHB go around hao lian.
Your combined test mark top in class but your mock exam marks still lower then me worh.
So shut your trap and go and study.

&&

I haven't given up on ♥
& i will never ever give up.

&&

Exams are coming so!!!
GOOD LUCK PEEPS!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

&&

I confirm just pass maths or fail!
I confirm fail physics till very jialat!

&&

BUAI BUAI!

Sherman

2010-05-04T18:01:00.002+08:00

Wei wei! Miss me bah? *i guess no one bah*

Today, English Exam.
Paper 1, 45 mins do finish paper 1.
Went to sleep, Mr yen woke me up.
He said: "Do finish already? So fast?"
Then he help me check.
He said: "you can replace some words".
I didn't even bothered to check.
He tell me replace only mah, he never say got error.

Recess, in the middle :D went to find mummy and daddy.
They today so ern ai :D

After that, Mr Lim came to the canteen and catch people hair.
As usual, i run away larh. even though i cut my hair.. but i am paranoid.

Went to class.
Paper 2,
Do finish in 1 hour.
Left 40mins.
As usual sleep, Mr yen again! wake me up. tell me check.
I don't care him. went to sleep! cannot sleep!! then i keep staring outside the window.
Rain, Rain stop then drizzle again then stop LOL!

Time's up!
Ms chia came in.
LOL I NEVER PASS UP MATH TRAIL FORM.
Tommorow last day.
Hope i remember :D

After school,
Go canteen slack all the way with Alvin.wee and Charmaine.
Wait for Alvin.k & co. to finish Chemistry Remidial?

After that, went to Daddy hse to change clothes.
Then, went to bukit timah lerh :D

Now at home. Blogging.

Ciaos!

Sherman.
Signing off now.

2010-04-27T22:40:00.001+08:00

Hello.
These few days didn't blog.
Well just to update you guys!!
Npap parade performance was a success. Well done! Fellow colour guard and band mates!

Last Friday, I went to Kelly house for BBQ!! I enjoyed myself!! Too bad I can't ton overnight :(

My sketch book inside npcc room sigh.. Collecting dust..

Sherman.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-04-19T22:22:00.002+08:00

I.
feel jealous, impatient, insecure at times but if you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best-anonymous

It's true that you will feel jealous when your so-called rival in love's near her. but what hurts the most is that your rival is near her and you can't do anything but look. yeah yeah, ima talking crap now. but ask yourself! what if ur in my shoes. what will you do?

Had a pretty okay day.

Felt sick after helping out in the NPCC room.
Feeling cold all over.
Head spinning like fucking vertigo.

Art exam paper is here.
Am i ready?
Am i going to take N-level art or O-level art.

Alot of questions to be answered.
Alot of doubts to be doubted.

All i can do is to live through it.
Live my best.

The only formula to my success and happiness.

Sherman.
Signing off now.

2010-04-13T21:08:00.003+08:00

♥Lao pa & me♥

♥Brothers Forever!♥

Hey peeps.
Feeling duper unwell now.
Nose running like a tap.
Throat burning like inferno.

Don't think i can attend school tommorow.
Tommorow got NPCC meeting.
See if i feel better tommorow anot.

School sucks.
Life sucks.
Kill me?
No! i still got many things to do apart from suicide.

Saturday got NPAP parade.. i going to be there and now not a helper but a performer.. so excited!
Please don't screw up!!!

Well, i know how to play midnight maximum tune already :D *jump for joy*

Sherman.

2010-04-11T21:38:00.003+08:00

Hello peeps.
I am so proud of YI NPCC Band and also the colour guards,
Even though, you guys got bronze and not a silver or a gold.
But in Sir and madam's eyes, you guys are not bronze,silver or gold but actually platinum.

It's the experience gained that matters.
Even if the result are not you guys wanted but at least you guys put up a good show and tried your best!

From my perspective, you guys did really good! because i was there with you guys from the start with sirs and madams. we know how much you guys improve, put up a good show & do them proud.

just strive on YIMB & YI FD for next week NPAP PARADE PERFORMANCE :D
Show them you guys still got the silver band standard! Jiayous! Gambette!

Sherman.

2010-04-07T20:03:00.002+08:00

Hey guys, this few days never update coz nothing to update.
Every lessons and lessons and lessons.
Sleep in class.
Go for fancy drill training.
Chat with friends, crap with them, rot with them.

Wednesday, i hate it.
my pants is too big!! keep dropping, uniform keep getting tucked out. as usual, art teacher never come! 2 hour free period.. chat with clarence and slept at the hall for the first hour, second hour, rot and slack at the hall...
After school, went to see mr liew *ya we know, friday no training for the secs 3 * chat with leris and chunyu for awhile then they went off. the usual gang and me went to the study corner and helped out with the gloves.. After that we went to makan.. Alvin.w came... Chat about something, makan, go home..

Physics test.. i anyhow do de... "please comment on the size of the force" i write small.. LOL!
i finished the test paper within 5 mins slept all the way till zhijie wake me up to go for assembly hahas!

1 month 1 day already.

You are the *coca* to my *cola*
You are the *race* to my *car*
You are the *macaroni* to my *cheese*
You are the *Wal* to my *Mart*
but most of all....
You are the *keys* to my *heart*

Sherman.
Signing off now.

2010-04-03T22:09:00.002+08:00

Hey.

2/4/2010.

Went for buffet with my CIs, my buddys and me!
Quite good larh, the food there :D

After that, went out with Chunyu & co & Alvin.K & co.
then suddenly got extra kia want come, screwed up everybody mood.

Seriously, fuck off man! nobody wants you to come then you extra extra come. never think ar. still think like a fucking immature kid.

After the Extra kia & co. went off. we couldn't hailed a cab and we are already late for that movie then the extra kia & co called us.. really no cab what! what you want us to do? fly isit?

Decided not to watch movie with them leh. then decided to go play pool.. kinda fun larh.. play with kengyong, claire and chunyu. fun right?? i jump the cue ball off the table twice LOL.

After that, claire got to go leh.. Chunyu pei her go west mall.. sigh.. so fast.

Went to underground and play pool with Alvin.k and co. after that clarence and junhong set off first.. after all the playing and stuffs we went to the nearest hawker centre to makan..
Makan finish go home.

Seriously, stop acting pityful and give excuses to support your act. you think message people a sorry can solve everything meh. your thinking is so childish. just stay away from us. that's the best decision you can ever make and that's also the best thing that we ever want.

Sherman.

Don't know why i am so shy and dumb-founded in front of you these days. sighs.

2010-03-31T18:43:00.002+08:00

Hey peeps.
School was boring today.
Had to wear uniform today. *hate it alots*

Lessons was fine..

It's hard to sleep in class when you really respect that teacher.

Stupid sia. anyhow say got meeting to others when i clearly told the others it's next wednesday.

Moral of the day:
Treasure what you have.....
Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;
Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love.....
Time is Eternity♥

2010-03-30T21:55:00.002+08:00

Head Spinning like vertigo now.
Going to sleep soon.
Back hurts, Head hurts.

Start of the day was bad.
Father keep nagging.

Got off the car.
Went to study corner as usual.
Talk.
Went to assemble.

Lessons per normal.

Ended school.

Went to the canteen and waited for fancy to start.
Fast Foward.
Fancy ended.

Was worried about her. so pei her wait for her father to come. thanks alvin.k and co. for waiting too :D

Seriously, want to talk. come face-to-face to talk. don;t talk behind my back.
Not happy come and talk larh!
It's my problem to pei her, you want to pei also can no one stopping you.
Still can call me idiot.
Whose the idiot.

Sherman.

2010-03-29T21:11:00.002+08:00

Hello Mortals.
Days like today are rare.*i don't care if you don't get me*

Firstly, Asked Permission from Miss kala to organize a meeting for the OICs,AICs,Logistics,Admins & lastly the Group I/cs. due to a selfish act of a OIC. we gonna have this meeting to vote whose idea is better.

Secondly, School ends faster than expected today. YAY! *dances*

Thirdly,♥You♥.

Seriously, stop acting like a coward!
Stop acting like a fucking dog.
Stop acting like a copy cat.
Stop acting like a bloody kid.
Stop whining fucker!

Want to backstab, come lorh.
Want to talk cock, come lorh.

Let's see who win.

Sherman.

2010-03-26T22:02:00.003+08:00

Hello Mortals.
Today was Sports Day!
Quite ok lurh.
Reach school at 6:15am.
Carry the two mattress that are lying at the foyer. *so inconsiderate, who leave the mattress out there and never bring it back to the CD shelter!*
Chat with Alvin & co.
Then see Fancy drill do formation.
Went to Clementi Stadium.
Slack at the stadium untill the band need to perform leh...
i must say "well done, fancy drill team.. even though the guy who played the dunno what thing is so soft and you guys get messed up, you guys still didn't give up... well done.. and the NOBODY dance was good too. can see you all putting in effort to dance.
After that, went to slack......
Went back to school.
De-brief.
Go home.
Bathed.
Go out with Alvin.k , Alvin.w & co.

while walking to west mall, alvin wee called me and tell me to rush over quickly but i did not i still walk like a turtle.. on the way there i say leris,danish and chunyu. got a shock larh..
if i knew you were there, i would have rushed over.

wait for mark to come. then went to Bukit timah to play lan! Alvin.K, Junhong and me so cooperative in L4D2 hahas...

After that, went to lot one buy some stuffs, eat dinner and slack.

then home sweet home.

Sherman.

Whenever you're about to sleep, I always wish i could say, Can you stay a lil longer? I will miss you.

2010-03-25T21:46:00.003+08:00

Hello Mortals.
Today was okay.
School was normal.
Fancy drill was especially tough today. but i managed to learn all the moves of the flags.
Miss chia, Jiahui ma'am and Shermaine keep shooting me... saying that i am super reserve LOL!

Anyway, i did something super wu liao... I caught myself smiling for no reason... then I realized I was thinking about you.

When i say i 'miss' you, i really do mean i miss you.
When you say i miss you back, do you mean it?

Well... this post is getting emotional....

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T'estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hâld fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe (Thanks Craig)
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

112 sentences, 1 meaning.

I Love You.

2010-03-24T19:50:00.002+08:00

Hello Mortals.
Today is a very very bad day.

First, Couldn't style my hair today because have to report to mr lim for hair check at the start of the day.

Second, I hate wearing school uniform.

Third, During Sec One camp planning today, pissed off. went out in the middle of the meeting.
i don't even think it's a meeting, sec 4 aren't suppose to be there plus the message to OIC sent to us is not even clear that explains why there are so many absentees. you call all the Group I/Cs here just for a book? other then that you want us to sit there like statue? if i never ask, you wouldn't even tell me what to do. oh i am sorry, i dun even have any thing to do there.

in conclusion, today is fucked up day.

tommorow have PE. sigh. i hate PE.

Sherman.

There is no remedy for love but to love more.

2010-03-23T22:17:00.002+08:00

Today,
Went to school.
Hair check.
Die.Kena Caught.
Mr lim give us a chance.
Told us to go home and cut and show him tommorow.
Went to fancy after that.
Followed them around the whole day.
Went to indoor stadium...so boring till i dozed off there.
Went back to school.
30 mins break.
Seriously, i leave some space for the girls to sit and you the extra kia come and sit. fuck off man!
After that, went to music room and watch some videos and briefing.
After practicing flag for around 30-40 mins i went home.
went to cut my hair at the nearby barber.
OMG it's so short now :(

Ending here.

Sherman.

je t'aime amo-te

i know it's love when it hurts.

2010-03-19T21:43:00.002+08:00

Day 1 Of Cadet Leader Camp.

Reach School.
Changed into full uniform.
Fall-in at 8am.
Some irresponsible squad mates of mine was late, leaving the first bad impression of us to our sirs and madams.
After that was Uniform Inspection, My Uniform is average.
But our Lance Corporal Rank got striped off by Rudy sir,
now we are all privates :(
Camp Opening, explain to us about the objectives of the camps.
After that was lectures,drills,lectures,drills.

Sec one camp planning, Murni and I are group i/c...

Fast Forward...

Night Drill was fun :D i love night drill but Rudy sir and Jiahui Madam Fierce!!!
After Night drill was Camp De-brief....De-brief nothing one...

Free and easy, polishing boots all the way haha...

LIGHTS OUT!

Day 2 Of Cadet Leader Camp.

Fall in at the parade square at 6:15am.
The usual bunch of indian girls was late.
Causes us to run 2.4km for morning PT.

Do all the warm up and 5 BX and went to run of 2.4km run.

After that was lectures again..

After that was breakfast! yum yum!
After Breakfast was wash-up.
Then it was MOI!
I am in Don sir Group Again woots..
Love his group coz he's kind and his squad always very small.. easier to execute the command.
So when it's my turn to Do the MOI, Suddenly got 5 min water break so i rest lor, then wen jun came, say need someone to teach drills to them. then i extra say i teach them lar for my MOI, i was kidding.. but don sir say i go teach, i go teach lor.. was to teach them hentak kaki cepat hentak!. keep on explaining all these.. in the end also never lock arms... Don sir say my MOI good but i too kind hahas...

Fast Forward...
Promotion test was ok :D i did quite ok :D

Camp break! got my Corporal rank! i was so shocked to recieve the Corporal rank!!!

CL camp is the best camp i ever been too....

Thank you.
Don sir,Rudy Sir and the other CIs :D

Sherman.

2010-03-16T21:16:00.002+08:00

Hello Mortals.

Today is almost like all other days :D

Went out.
go to school.
play basketball.
go fancy drill.
practice drills.

Fancy ended.

Play basketball for awhile.

Go home with the usual gang.

Sherman.

I don't want to lose you
because i love you.

I care for you
because i love you.

I go crazy when somebody talk bad about you
because i love you.

I remember things you said to me
because i love you.

I don't want to lie to you that's why i tell you,

I LOVE YOU!